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Reimagining Mother’s Day and Remembering My Mother
This year marks my 28th Mother’s Day since my mother died. Each passing year feels slightly different than the last one. I won’t say it’s gotten easier through the years. I don’t think that’s the right word for it. But I will say time has brought acceptance and helped me to reimagine Mother’s Day for myself.
Grief doesn’t follow a straight line or a set timetable. I still miss my mother no matter the day and there will always be a hole in my heart that longs for her. None of that will ever go away but I’ve learned to make peace with my feelings and with Mother’s Day.
Some days there are still tears and other days there’s laughter when I think about something crazy my mother told me as a child. Like the time she said that grass would start growing out of my ears if I didn’t start cleaning my ears better. I remember to this day the way she would grab that bar of Ivory soap and a washcloth and clean my ears and face till they sparkled. I often catch myself thinking about her as I scrub my ears in the shower just like she taught me.
I celebrate Mother’s Day on my own terms now. It’s no longer about cards, flowers, fancy brunches, and gifts but instead I find ways to honor my mother’s memory. To keep her close to me.
