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Why Everyone Should Have 2 a.m. Friends in Their Life
One of the things the pandemic forced me to do was evaluate my circle of friends and associates. I started by scanning all of the names from the contact list in my cell phone.
When was the last time we spoke?
Did I enjoy our conversations, or did I dread picking up the phone to talk to them?
What connected us?
Was this person adding to or subtracting from my life and how was I showing up in theirs?
What made them my friend?
History, proximity, and commonality showed up in many of these friendships and connections. But was that enough to keep it going? For some it wasn’t enough because we had outgrown each other. For others, our past was the only thread connecting us.
I thought about what I needed in my friendships and what I had the capacity to give in return. I needed consistent communication, honesty, vulnerability, laughter, empathy, and quality time (one of my love languages). Most importantly, I needed reciprocation. In other words, I shouldn’t be the only one calling, sending birthday cards, or making plans. Effort goes both ways.
The older you get the more effort it takes to sustain existing friendships and nurture new ones.
